


Gay Anakin Saves the Galaxy

by Its_not_tentacle_porn_shut_up_Joscelin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anakin Skywalker Leaves the Jedi Order, Anakin does not become Vader, Anakin is a gay mess, BAMF Padmé Amidala, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 Lives, Gen, It doesn’t happen but it’s a Thing, Just friends Anakin and Padmé, Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, Order 66, Shmi Skywalker Lives, Tags May Change, an absolute disaster of a man, except Palpatine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22485037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Its_not_tentacle_porn_shut_up_Joscelin/pseuds/Its_not_tentacle_porn_shut_up_Joscelin
Summary: Alternatively titled ‘Padmé Amidala Kicks Ass Takes Names and Isn’t Afraid to Call Her Best Friend on His Bullshit’A ‘what if’ fic that follows the possible consequences of Anakin being gay and besties with Padmé instead of lovers that begins with saving the life of Shmi Skywalker.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 40
Kudos: 353





	1. Padmé Has No Patience for Jedi Nonsense

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vive_grande](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vive_grande/gifts).



> This is a fun fic I wrote primarily as a favor to my absolute best friend and is not intended to be taken overly seriously. Any mistakes are mine, including plot inconsistencies or timeline flaws. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Seeing Padmé again after so long, seeing the spitfire Queen he’d met during the wildest times of his life grown into herself as a ruthless and willful senator was shocking, of course, but Anakin had outgrown his hero-worship of the Queen-now-Senator when he was fourteen and it had been years since then, he was nearly a Knight of the Jedi Order and not a starry eyed kid. 

Besides, as he discovered during the first few days of his protection detail — she made a much better friend than hero. Especially after they spent the first night in the lake house drinking perhaps one too many bottles of Alderanni wine from Varykino’s cellars and got into a long and ridiculous debate about which of the current 2000 galactic senators were dateable. Seeing as they both preferred men but had wildly different tastes and Padmé took time out of each conversation to debate their political views as well... suffice to say there’s nothing better than a friendship forged in remembering each other’s drunken antics and bemoaning a shared hangover. 

It was a day after that though, when Padmé found him in the kitchen of the lake house looking even worse than he had the morning before, scowling a cup of caf like it bit him. 

“What’d the caf do to  _ you _ , Ani?” She asked as she went to get her own mug. It was when he didn’t even give a perfunctory retort to her use of his childhood nickname that she realized something may actually be wrong with her friend. 

“Hm,” He looked up at her like he hadn’t noticed her coming in, which was almost alarming since she’d seen him in action as a Jedi — she knew he’d have to be truly distracted to not even notice her presence in the room, “Nothing. It’s just,” he hesitated, looking at her, “Stupid Jedi things.” 

Padmé didn’t buy it for a second, “I’ve been in politics longer than you’ve been a Jedi, you’re gonna have to do better than that if you want me to believe your banthashit. What’s wrong?” 

The young Jedi sighed, looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders as he continued to glare into his mug, “I get dreams sometimes. Nightmares. Visions. Master always says that I should ignore them, that they’re just a product of my anxieties and connection to the force and if I focus on them I’ll only make things worse.” 

He hesitated, again. Padmé took a sip of her caf before leveling him with a look that usually had even senior senators spilling their secrets, “ _ But _ _?_ ” 

“But this time, this time its my mother!” Anakin’s head snapped up to look Padmé directly in the eyes, and she could see the tears threatening to spill, and the dark bags just below them, “She’s calling out to me,  _begging_ me  to help her and I can’t do anything. Every night for weeks now I see her, I feel her pain, and I don’t even know what’s happening!  _And every night I can’t do anything to stop it!_ ” 

The tears flowed down his cheeks now, as the whole house seemed to fall unnaturally silent in the wake of his confession, of his grief. Padmé didn’t know much, if anything, about the Force or visions or even Shmi Skywalker — but she knew down to her bones that you never, ever, ignore a plea for help. 

“Well Master Obi-Wan isn’t here right now, is he? And it’s not like you can’t protect me from assassins anywhere else just as well as you can here. So kriff the whole ‘don’t focus on it’ thing — she’s calling for your help, let’s go help her.” 

Anakin blinked. 

“What?” 

“I said let’s go help your mother, Ani. Clearly, the force is showing you this for a reason, and it’s not like we don’t know where she is. I have a ship, you’re a Jedi, let’s go! I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather run off to Tatooine and try to save your mother than sit here and do nothing waiting for an assassin to find me!” Padmé was standing now, already cataloguing in her head what they’d need to bring on the ship, and how she could get them off planet without notice. 

“Y- you’d really just let me drag you along to Tattooine because of a vision?” Anakin seemed shocked, but Padmé could also see the hope shining in his eyes, hope that he could maybe actually do something about the things he’d been seeing. 

“You’re hardly dragging me anywhere, Anakin, it’s my idea. Now  _let’s go_ ,  your mother needs our help and there’s no point wasting anymore time.” She finished the rest of her caf and pulled him out of the kitchen. Silly Jedi, she thought, always doubting themselves.

— 

It was many days later when they left for Naboo again. After having tracked Shmi to the Lars homestead, and then sneaking through the Tusken’s camp to find her beaten and weary but still, wonderfully, alive, they’d stayed with them for several more days as Shmi recovered and Anakin caught up with his mother for the first time since he’d left ten years ago. 

Padmé knew that the Jedi weren’t meant to keep close attachments or connections with family members, but watching how much Anakin had lit up as he talked with his mother about his apprenticeship and Obi-Wan and how much he’d learned, as well as about her marriage to Cleigg and how much she’d missed him and often thought that him and Owen would have made great friends ... well, Padmé wondered if perhaps the Jedi were doing themselves a disservice by cutting themselves off from everything and everyone around them. 

But, in the end, it wasn’t her place to say, and they’d had to leave again anyways when it became clear that eventually her absence from Naboo would be noticed. 

It was perhaps luck then that Tattooine was so close to Geonosis, where Obi-Wan had sent a distress signal from and that they’d been barely an hour into the journey back to Naboo. 


	2. Rumor Has It

It was nearly two months after the war had broken out and Anakin had been knighted that she realized her new friendship with the freshly minted General had not gone unnoticed by gossip mongers of the Senate. 

Sure, they’d only had three or four chances to actually meet in person since Geonosis, and once had been just a short conversation in the halls of the senate dome as Anakin had been on his way to a meeting with the Chancellor and Padmé had been enjoying a few spare moments of breathing room between committee meetings — but when your whole life is placed under a microscope by the news and holonet, the senator conceded that she really shouldn’t have been surprised when she caught wind of a rumor detailing her elicit romance with a young Jedi Knight. 

The Jedi Coucil would surely have a field day with accusing Anakin of breaking the Code if it made it’s way to them, assuming even half of her friend’s complaints about their criticisms and obstinance were accurate, so when she got back to her apartment that night, she’d commed him over one of her secure lines. 

“Hi, Padmé!” The bright holo image of her friend lit up her living room as the call connected, she wasn’t surprised at the informal greeting as she knew that he would have recognized the comm address as being her private home one, and not any she used for work or public appearances, “We finished up here a few hours ago now, so I’ve got time to chat as we head back to Coruscant. How’re things going with you?” 

Padmé smiled to see her friend is good spirits, she knew that the campaign on Christophsis had been a long and hard one, but hearing that he was headed home and that the battle had, apparently, been won, reassured her. 

“The Senate is just as bull headed as ever, and just as much of a mess as when you left it, the Coalition is  _still_ waiting on representatives of Kamino to provide the paperwork we asked for  _ three weeks ago  _ and today’s vote on the War Seizures Act didn’t go as we hoped” she sighed, mentally shaking off the various weights of her work, “But that’s not why I called, you hardly need to hear me whining about the senate’s problem anyways.” 

Anakin gave a short laugh at that, “No, but it is still good to know what you’ve been up to. So,” his hologram leaned back and readjusted the angle of the image as she saw him settle into his desk chair, “Why did you call if not to bemoan the trials of senatorial life?” 

“Well,” She paused for both drama and a chance to brace herself for whatever surely surprised response Anakin would have. He still had never shook the penchant for dramatics he’d had as a youngling, but, it was endearing when it didn’t feed into his already mad schemes in battle. 

“I heard about a rumor that’s been circling the ‘net and the senate for a little while now, apparently, you and I are having an illicit affair behind the backs of both the Naboo political guild  _ and  _ the Jedi Council.” 

She wished, desperately, that she’d set the holo comm to record her call because watching Anakin Skywalker, the Hero With No Fear, Jedi Knight, and General of the Republic, flail and fall out of his chair while choking out a high pitched “ _WHAT_ ”  was absolutely hilarious. 

The following conversation was full of skepticism on Anakin’s part, he refused to believe that people were dense enough to think that even if a Jedi were to go and blatantly break the code in such a way they would be stupid enough to get caught, and laughter on Padmé’s. It wasn’t until she’d suggested making a statement to dispute the rumors that Anakin had settled back into his more professional mindset and actually began to consider the possible effects of such a rumor. 

“What if we didn’t, though?” A sly smirk worked it’s way across the General’s features, “What if we let people think they’re right? Like, not confirming it or anything, Force no, but just, playing along?” 

Padmé’s eyes widened, “You want to prank the Council with this don’t you?” 

Anakin shrugged, still smirking, “It would hardly be  _my_ fault the Council deigned to believe baseless holonet rumors. After all, I wouldn’t lie to them if they asked — they’d sense it anyways.” 

Padmé picked up his line of thought though, “But they’d never directly ask you, they’d just tie themselves in knots quietly because they had no way to prove it and accusing someone of breaking the Code, even you, is far too serious to do over something as simple as a  _rumor_. ” 

They were both trying not to laugh now, the plan that was forming far too crazy not to.

“ _ And _ ,” Anakin continued, leaning in closer, “It could totally benefit you, afterall, haven’t you been complaining about how hard it is to get work done when you have suitors coming after you for your political power, I mean, just last month you were telling me about Junior Senator K’lalsis who practically ruined every chance you hadfor networking at the gala you went to. If they think you’ve got a Jedi Knight speaking for you they’ll probably back off.” 

Padmé hummed, “And you already put in for priority on senatorial assignments awhile ago, so a few well placed glares next time we work together...” 

They lost the battle against laughter as they locked eyes, it was a truly insane and ridiculous plan. 

And yet...it sounded so  _fun_.


	3. Pulling the Wool Over Their Eyes

They’d deliberated back and forth later, debating who to tell, if anyone, that it was all just an prank in allowing the rumors to go unfettered and perhaps laying their friendship on a bit think whenever theywere out in public together. They’d decided to tell no one unless asked directly, and even then to mostly just redirect because, well, it would serve them right for believing in rumors. Should anyone offical, like the council or the guild or the chancellor ask, of course they’d tell the truth: that they weren’t involved and never were. 

Of course, if anyone decided it was merely a denial and not accurate — it wasn’t like they could prove their suspicions anyways. 

So, they continued as they had been. Anakin occasionally coming over to her apartment when he had leave on Coruscant, her delicately turning down suitors and requesting Knight Skywalker and, sometimes, Padawan Tano as her preferred Jedi whenever she needed them for assignments on behalf of the senate, and overall just maintaining their friendship in both truth and appearance. 

_Perhaps_ they occasionally stood too close together when she brought him as her plus one and bodyguard to state galas, but if anyone asked it was merely because those events were so loud and it was  _hardly_ polite to shout, so standing close to have conversation was a must. 

And _perhaps_ they jokingly called eachother ‘Ani’ and ‘Angel’ when in private and occasionally “slipped up” in public but  _ really _ , those were nicknames they’d had for eachother as children that had stuck, nothing more. 

And  _ perhaps _ , just maybe, Anakin was a little more cagey than necessary about where, exactly, he was spending his leave on Coruscant when it wasn’t in the temple but,  _ truly _ , what’s wrong with a man valuing his privacy and his alone time? Especially when he has so little of it? 

—

It was a little over a year into the war, and nearly 9 months into Ahsoka’s apprenticeship, when Padmé got a comm early in the morning from Anakin. It was from his private comm, the one he used for social calls not offical business, so the senator was admittedly startled by the hour. Then again, Coruscant time and the ship’s time on The Resolute (where Anakin,  _hopefully_ ,  still was) had a difference of a few hours, perhaps he’d just forgotten to take into account that even for her it was extremely early. 

She was  _ definitely  _ not expecting to be met with a teary eyed Jedi gasping from laughter when she answered, regardless of the time. It took a lot, and usually a glass or two of wine, to make Anakin Skywalker  _ giggle _ . 

“Padmé! Angel! Oh my  _Force_!”  Anakin fell into another fit of giggles, “You’ll never guess what I just  _heard_!  They, oh- They were in the mess hall, and they, Padmé,” more giggles, “They were placing  _bets_!” 

Padmé blinked.  _ What? Placing bets on what? Clones place bets on everything, why, Anakin, is this so funny that you would call me not even an hour after sun up to tell me this?  _

“Placing bets on  _what_ ,  Anakin?” 

“ _Us_!”  More giggles. But this time, once it had clicked, Padmé started to joined in, “They were placing bets on how long it would take for us to come clean about  _dating_!  One of them- Padmé, one of them bet on us  _already being married oh my Force he put fifty credits on it_!  On  _us — married!_ ” 

That day in the senate, Senator Amidala could be caught several times attempting valiantly to stifle giggles for seemingly no reason at all. 


	4. The Price of Lies

It wasn’t, Padmé reflected, all fun and games to pretend to be in a secret relationship with Anakin. 

“Why would he  _ say  _ that, Angel? Just-“ Anakin flopped back onto the couch in her living room, his glass of Alderanni red not spilling as he did so only do to his keeping it contained with what Obi-Wan would have called a ‘frivolous use of the Force, padawan’, “ _Why?_ ” 

He’d been like this for an hour, after the anger and the bafflement had settled and he’d stopped being an imminent threat to the wholeness of her stemware. It was one of his first breaks in a long time from the war, and Anakin had come directly to her after a meeting with the Chancellor. 

The Chancellor who, apparently, had heard a rumor that she and Obi-Wan had become ‘close’. The problem with that statement, was that Anakin and Padmé both kept a rather studious eye on the rumors surrounding them, and had been since they’d started the whole charade. There were rumors of Anakin stepping out on Padmé with people, of course, and some particularly nasty ones insinuating things about his closeness to his captain, Rex, or some of his other men. Even  _ Anakin’s  _ relationship with his former master had been accused of romantic or sexual overtones. There were rumors of Padmé and Bail Organa having an illicit affair unbeknownst to either of their partners — there was even one particularly funny rumor speculating that she, Bail, Anakin, and Breha were involved in an open and salacious relationship that ran in the face of Alderanni traditions of fidelity and monogamy (though, noteably,  not  in the Naboo tradition of closed triads and quartets between members of married couples). Not to even mention the vast and varied world of rumors speculating on developments between her and Anakin that didn’t involve infidelity, from fights to entirely baseless ‘pregnancy scares’ (you’d think the paparazzi would have better things to over think than a picture of her absently touching her stomach to adjust a dress, but apparently not). 

Suffice to say, there were plenty of rumors, and she and Anakin had heard them all over the past two years. 

None of the rumors had ever insinuated _her_ and Obi-Wan. 

Which left her with a dejected and confused Anakin wondering why on earth his dear friend and father figure would ever try to convince him that there was one, much less why he would attempt to convince him it was legitimate. 

“I don’t know why he’d say that, Ani,” she sat beside him on the couch and took one of his hands in hers, “But, well, it’s hardly the first time he’s said something that riles you up like this. Maybe...” 

Padmé trailed off as she tried to think of a way to say “maybe Sheev Palpatine is more of a toxic prick than you’d like to think” without setting Anakin off again. She wasn’t lying when she said this wasn’t exactly a first, thought it was the first time the statement had been a blatant lie. Though, of course, perhaps he just usually got the reaction he was looking for. Usually when the blonde Jedi was stuck in a mood after talking to Palpatine it was directed at the council or occasionally Obi-Wan’s trust in him as a Jedi and a General. This time, perhaps, he’d miscalculated. 

“Maybe he doesn’t mean as well as I like to think he does?” Anakin finished for her, surprisingly more perceptive than he usually was, “I know. I just...he’s one of my oldest friends, Padmé.” 

He looked at her, beseechingly like she could somehow give him any other option, any other answer. 

She couldn’t. 

“I know, Ani, it’s just that,” she gripped his hand, his flesh one, tighter as she spoke, “People change. Especially when they have power, like the Chancellor does. And with all the emergency and wartime powers he has? Palpatine practically has all the power of the Republic at his feet if he chooses to use it. Things like that, having that much control, it can warp a person, make them cold or callous. Sometimes it brings out all of the worst a person has to offer.” 

Anakin sighed, sounding far more defeated than she’d ever heard him. 

“It’s this kriffing war, Padmé. It’s made the Jedi into soldiers, it’s made the Clones slaves to republic, and the Chancellor into... into someone who  _ taunts me  _ with all the  _osik I’m afraid of!_ ”  The young knight choked out a sob, emotional and hurting and betrayed. 

“It’s made me into a person I hate to look at sometimes, Angel, I-“ he set his wine glass on the floor, and curled himself to lean against her shoulder, seeking comfort in a way she knew they Jedi had always frowned upon and that Anakin had always needed.

“I get so angry when I hear what the Chancellor has to say sometimes and it’s, it’s the same anger I feel when Ahsoka is hurt on the battle field, the same anger I feel when I have to turn a blind eye to slavers because of a _mission_ or a ‘ _lack of the proper authority_ _’_. It makes me want to hurt people and be cruel and when I was walking out of that office today, I wanted to go find Obi-Wan and  _shake him even_ though, even though this _isn’t even_ _real!_ ” 

Padmé held her friend as he broke down, crying and releasing all of the pent up sorrow and loathing and anger into his tears and his confession, whispering soothing words and assurances as the twenty-two year old cried over war and betrayal and all the hideous things that came with it. 

Internally though, she worried. The Anakin she knew, while hotheaded and emotional and hardly a poster boy for the serenity broadcast as the staple of the Jedi, was not one to get so needlessly angry at Obi-Wan over something so inconsequential. Because he was right, it wasn’t even real. 

Anakin, the Anakin Padmé knew and loved as her best friend, had found deep amusement in all of the ridiculous rumors and false scandals surrounding their supposed courtship. He’d even laughed when they’d accused Padmé of seducing Bail away from Breha as part of scheme to gather even more political power. The only times he’d ever gotten upset was when they’d accused him of things like taking advantage of his position as General over the Clones, or in one of the more vile tabloids, his position of Master over Ahsoka. And even then, even in the face of those worst rumors, Anakin had still found the light and laughter in the dramatic exaggerations and ludicrous descriptions and titles. 

Wanting to track down and confront Obi-Wan over a rumor of him and Padmé was, frankly, disturbing. It wasn’t  _Anakin_. 


	5. Battle Strategy

Comming Obi-Wan after Anakin had cried himself out into a still slightly tipsy slumber had been a risk. 

Padmé knew Obi-Wan gave not insignificant credence to the rumor of her and Anakin being a couple — more than once she and Anakin had talked about possibly telling him the truth of their friendship, but had always decided not to on the basis of 1) he made the most delightfully constipated expression whenever Anakin brought her up outside of necessity and 2) he’d never actually asked Anakin about the rumors or commented on them, so they’d decided if he wasn’t man enough to even advise on the issue, he wouldn’t get to know the truth of it. 

She also knew that Obi-Wan could very well make the whole situation worse if he decided to once again follow the strict path of the Jedi Code, and not the path of his heart and compassion for Anakin. 

So comming Obi-Wan was certainly risky, but, she’d reasoned, a calculated risk worth taking. 

Obi-Wan had raised Anakin, had followed him and led him on the battlefield more times than either would care to count, and was the closest thing Anakin had to family outside of herself and Ahsoka (who, currently, was not a viable option for calling to help for a whole slew of reasons). Padmé had no doubt Obi-Wan loved Anakin as his brother and close friend, and that he would die for him in a heartbeat. 

But Padmé could only hope that he would also  _ care  _ for him. 

_ “Senator? _ _”_ Obi-Wan’s Coruscanti accent crackled over her apartment’s doorcomm, and she left her place beside Anakin to let him in. 

“Master Kenobi,” Padmé gestured the older Jedi into her apartment, “Please come in, I’m sorry for comming you so late but I really did feel as if this was an important enough matter to warrant the time.” 

“It’s of no problem at all, Senator, and call me Obi-Wan, please, I do like to think we are friends enough for that.” He gave her one of his more disarming smiles, and Padmé had to remind herself to still be on her guard. 

“Then you must call me Padmé, Obi-Wan, for I do think us friends, none of this ‘Senator’ business.” She knew her smiles could be just as disarming as his. 

“Of course,” He looked at her then, still standing halfway in her entry and halfway to her kitchen and the living room where Anakin dozed, “I do wonder though, Padmé, why you commed me? Anakin is on planet as well and certainly if you need a Jedi-“ 

Padmé cut off Obi-Wan’s statement with a stern look as she answered his question, “I know very well that Anakin is on planet— he’s in my living room. It wasn’t a Jedi I needed, Obi-Wan, it was you.” 

She lead him to the kitchen, and started the process of making tea knowing that both she and the Jedi would need it for the up coming conversation. 

“Anakin is asleep right now, and stars can only hope he stays that way for a while, because this is about to be a very long conversation,” Padmé set out two tea cups and pulled the kettle off of it’s stand as it boiled, “And he hardly needs more of those today.” 

Obi-Wan’s brow furrowed as he sat at her table, eyes absently tracking her through the motions of preparing their tea, “I’m afraid I seem to be missing several key points, Padmé, what exactly is going on?” 

“A lot, Obi-Wan,” She placed one mug before herself and one before the Jedi and sat down across from him, “But it all begins with a rumor so I might as well start there.” 

— 

By the time they’d finished their conversation, the water in the kettle had long since grown cold and so had the atmosphere of the small kitchen of her apartment. 

It had been decided that first and foremost, they were going to talk to Anakin and not do anything behind his back because it seemed, quite frankly, like he’d been betrayed enough in last few months. Secondly, they’d agreed that Chancellor Palpatine was, inarguably, manipulating the younger Jedi and had been for some time — the question they’d been left with on that point had be  _why_. Was he working for the Separastists? The Sith? Both? Or perhaps neither and had his own agenda? If so what was it? 

The third and final thing they’d agreed upon was that they would be making Anakin see one of the Jedi mind healers, even if they had to drag him there to do it. Anakin has notoriously despised mind healers and routinely declined visits to them even after some of the most traumatic missions and battles in the war, but Obi-Wan had stated that the irrational and uncontrollable anger along with the mood swings an other irrational thoughts spoke to the potential of Anakin having had his mind manipulated by something far worse than just pointed words. 

The idea that someone could use the dark side of the force to potentially manipulate someone’s mind so thoroughly and so subtly scared the senator quite a lot, and the thought that someone had done that to her friend enraged her. 

The one thing they did not agree upon, though, was telling the Jedi Council of their suspicions about Palpatine. And while their conversation was done, their debate on what to do next was still going strong. 

“Padmé, surely you think that something must be done to stop the Chancellor from further manipulating Anakin, and possibly even the war,” Obi-Wan ‘The Negotiator’ Kenobi had been trying for the past half hour to persuade the seemingly immovable senator to see his way and agree to tell the council what she’d told him. 

“I do, but I do not believe that going to Jedi Council, now, before we even know if Palpatine is anything more than merely a power drunk asshole, is a bad idea.  _ Especially  _ for Anakin. Until we know more, it’s a bad idea. And we haven’t even  _ asked Anakin  _ what he might think of it so it is a moot. Point.” 

He was failing. 

“I’m not _saying_ we don’t ask Anakin! We already agreed that neither of us would go behind his back with anything, of course we ask him,  _ it’s about him!  _ I’m just imploring you to consider that your own opinion on the matter-“ The Jedi Master cut off abruptly to look over to the doorway into the kitchen, “Hello, Anakin. Would you like some of that sludge you call caf?” 


	6. A Disturbance in the Force

Padmé couldn’t say that she hadn’t been expecting the call — she’d been waiting for it, worried, for months. 

When Ahsoka had left the Order the senator had given her a comm link, secure and encrypted to stars, and told her to call if she ever needed anything even if it was just someone to talk to. She knew that the ex-Jedi wouldn’t call Anakin or Obi-Wan, one out of pride and the other out of a fierce need to prove she’d made the right decision. 

But Padmé had hoped that those feelings wouldn’t stop Ahsoka from calling her, if she needed to. 

So, when her personal comm link chimed with an in coming message from the young Togruta, no, she was not surprised. 

It was the _topic_ of the call that startled her. 

“ _What happened to Anakin?_ ”  Padmé nearly dropped the comm at the forcefulness of the question, but with the grace of war Queen and Galactic Senator, managed not to. She also didn’t miss the panic that lanced beneath the durasteel in her friend’s tone. 

Panic she was beginning to share because, well, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ahsoka — Anakin is at the Jedi Temple right now, I was actually just on my way now to go meet with him and Obi-Wan. If something’s happened, I’m afraid I don’t know what it could be.” 

A sigh was heard from the younger woman across the comm,  “I just- It’s our bond.” 

Padmé blinked down at her comm as Ahsoka paused again, processing. She knew that Jedi shared a sort of mental bond with each other, especially between Masters and Padawans, but she didn’t know how it worked and had, privately, assumed that whatever bond Ahsoka and Anakin had shared had been severed when the padawan left. 

“Neither of us actually severed it, even though we should have, because I was never actually Knighted and then I was gone and...”  Ahsoka began to ramble, unintentionally answering Padmé’s unasked question,  “But that’s not the point. The point is that maybe half an hour ago something  _happened_ . Usually I can’t get much more than a general sense of his well being and maybe location if I focus but...It was like a tidal wave.” 

“And just as suddenly,”  Ahsoka’s voice wavered, whatever strength and steel that she’d had when she first called had given way to her worry and confusion,  “He was gone. For a moment I thought he was  _dead_.  But he’s not, he’s just, muted. Like something or someone is shielding him and usually I wouldn’t worry that much but, what I  _felt_ ... it was worse than when we thought Obi-Wan was dead.” 

_Half an hour ago_ ,  Padmé raised a hand to fiddle with her necklace as she thought,  _that would have been not too long after Anakin was meant to go meet with the mind healer him and Obi-Wan_ _had_ _agreed on. And if they_ had  _discovered some Dark influence over his mind..._

“I think I might know what happened,” Padmé offered, “Though I’m not entirely sure. Anakin went to meet with one of the Jedi mind healers today-“ 

“Someone actually convinced him to see one?” 

Padmé gave a small smile even though she knew the other woman couldn’t see it. 

“Yes. There’d been a...”  _Oh, how to phrase this without being alarming or giving too much away,_ Padmé hesitated as she wondered,  “Development in tracking down the Sith Master of Count Dooku, and it was worried that Anakin had been, ah, exposed to certain Dark influences.” 

The senator cringed as she waited for Ahsoka’s response, it hadn’t been her most graceful of statements. 

“So you believe that what I felt may be have been caused by the mind healer finding these ‘dark influences’ in Anakin.”  Ahsoka’s tone had evened out as she seemed to consider the statement, “ That would make sense.” 

Padmé’s grip on her necklace loosened as the ex-Jedi appeared to accept her reasoning. They — her, Anakin, and Obi-Wan — had agreed that it would be best to keep their suspicions of Palpatine being a tool of the Dark and a possible point of Sith influence as quiet as possible until they had undeniable proof and a solid plan to deal with him. Accusing any Senate member of colluding with the Sith, and therefore the Separatists, was a huge risk even  _with_ proof — accusing the Chancellor? Without an airtight case and absolutely irrefutable proof it would be worse than treason. Right now, bringing Ahsoka into the fold could be like adding rhydonium to a brush fire. Thankfully, it appeared she’d accepted Padmé’s diplomatic understatements. 

“Of course, I’m already on my way back to Coruscant and I’ll be able to check on him for myself when I get there in a few hours. It’s been long enough since I’ve seen my old master anyways.”  Ahsoka gave a short goodbye and ended the call as Padmé just stared down at the comm link in burgeoning horror. 

_Kriff_. 


	7. How the Tables Turn

Padmé has never enjoyed the darker and dirtier side of politics, but that’s never stopped her from being kriffing good at it. 

Being Queen had taught her more about deception that one would think, especially considering that some of the most intricate and important clandestine acts of her reign had been done while she  _wasn’t_ pretending to be a handmaiden. One of the most important things, especially when dealing with adversaries capable of sensing thoughts or intentions was not shielding, but focus — the Sith and the Jedi were not the only beings capable of picking up on far, far more than she was, and were not the only ones she had ever had the need to mask her intentions from. 

It was these things that their small group had taken into consideration when it was decided that she would be the one planting a bug and spy camera in the Chancellor’s office. 

“It’s just that I get so  _worried_ about the effect this war is having on him, Chancellor,” Padmé looked down into her tea cup mournfully, focusing on her memories of Anakin’s various bouts of anger and frustration she had witnessed and how they’d only gotten more frequent the longer the war had been going, “And you’re such good friends with him, he always talks about how much of a support you’ve been for him especially when the Jedi refuse to listen...” 

“Of course, dear,” the elder Nabooian answered her entreatingly, “You only want what is best for your... _friend_ . I’m afraid though that the only advice I can offer you is to be wary. The Jedi are always so harsh on the boy and sometimes I fear that their methods have done more harm than good, _alienating_ him from the ideas of love and family that people like you and I value so dearly.” 

Padmé stood, only half feigning the distress she showed at his statement, and began to pace the length of his office. Her fear and anger weren’t necessarily directed at the Jedi though, but towards the way the Chancellor seemed to be so earnestly attempting to convince her that she distance herself from Anakin.  _As if that would do anything but make things worse, which is exactly what you want_ _,_ she sighed,  _Focus_. 

“It’s all he ever wanted, you know,” She trailed her fingers along the edge of a vase as she paced, “To be a Jedi Knight, to fight for justice and freedom...now he’s fighting this horrible war and it just eats away at him.” 

Padmé continued to pace and absent mindedly fiddle with the bland decorations that marked the end tables of the Chancellor’s office, letting her grief and worry fill the silence as she waited for the doubtlessly calculated response to it. 

“Yes, it was what he wanted,” he took a sip of the bitter Naboo tea he always served to guests, ‘a good reminder of home to a chancellor bound to be so impartial, hm?’ he’d told her when she’d mentioned it, “Even when he was younger and struggling under Master Kenobi’s tutelage he never lost sight of that dream — a united galaxy, with him as a hero.” 

“It  _was_ something I’d always admired about him...” Padmé finished the rest of her bitter tea, knowing from experience it was best not to let it cool lest the taste become more detectable, “Now though, hopes like that are beginning to seem impossible... more than two years of war and we have to show for it is more discord than ever.” 

If she’d been as distracted and upset as she seemed, Padmé would have interpreted the hum from her countryman as agreement with her strife. 

As it stood though, she could hear the satisfaction in it. How she would very much like to -  _Focus. Anakin. War. Loss. Anakin. Focus_.  She centered herself again, no use getting distracted by anger. 

“We must trust though, young Amidala, that the Jedi can see what we don’t, and that they’ll lead us to a victory against the _discord_ of the separatists. It’s all we can do.” 

His genile smile felt like a slap in the face. 

—

“You’re _sure_ they won’t be found? And that their transmissions won’t be noticed?” 

“ _Yes_ , Obi-Wan,” Padmé leveled the Master Jedi with one of her looks, “I thought Jedi weren’t supposed to  _worry_.” 

He returned her look, “They don’t, and I am not worrying I am merely-“ 

“You’re worrying like a mother tooka away from her kits, Master,” Anakin looked back to Padmé to avoid Obi-Wan’s indignant glare, “He always does this when he lets other people do the dirty work, took me years to figure out he was just worry wort and not actually doubtful of my abilities.” 

“My old master is right, Padmé,” Ahsoka walked back into the living room carrying a tray of caf mugs (and one cup of tea), “You should see it when he tries his brooding tooka act on his Commander, Cody, it’s hilarious.” 

Seeing how much she’d grown in the months after her leaving had been a shock to all of them, but none more than Anakin who’d already had the tumultuous experience of having a team of Jedi mind healers help him expunge the startling amount of Dark Force compulsions that had been slowly wrapping themselves around his psyche only a short while before he’d seen her again. That day had been an extremely long one, but truthfully it had only made the week and a half which had followed feel even longer. 

Tonight was the first time they’d all been together since deciding to bug Palpatine’s office, which Padmé had made them note was a rather serious act of treason (not that she wasn’t fully in agreement, merely a tad more cautious than the three maverick Jedi she’d made friends with). 

“They’re untraceable, and their signals won’t even set off any of the Chancellor’s or the Senate Gaurd’s security — they’re passive except for the half second long data bursts they send out at randomized intervals three times a day to a private and also untraceable server that only the four of us have access to. All of it is encrypted, and their placement — the speaker in the lip of a vase and the camera facing his desk from the side of one of his garish abstract decorations — are well hidden. _Satisfied_?” 

Obi-Wan still looked at Padmé balefully in response to her tone, but muttered a ‘yes, ma’am’ as he took his tea cup from the tray. 

Now all they had to do was wait. 


	8. Ner’jetti, Haar Utreekov

Anakin had not wanted to go back into the field after recovering from the Force exhaustion incurred by his session with the mind healers (and yes, it had ended up taking more than one to help him through the guided meditations and scalpel like applications of the force needed to free his mind from the foreign Dark that had begun to ensnare it). How could he trust himself if he couldn’t even _notice_ something being wrong in his own head for _years_ ?  
  
How in the galaxy was he supposed to expect his men to trust him when the mind healers said that it had felt like he was only a few bad decisions away from Falling?  
  
 _How could I be a Jedi worth following if I was only ‘a few bad decisions’ away from becoming like Master Krell? How many times have I already put my own feelings on an issue above the lives of my men?_ _  
_  
“General!” Anakin’s head snapped up as his Captain called out to him, _Force I haven’t even seen Rex since before this whole mess started_ , “Can’t say I wasn’t grateful for the extended leave, but I’m glad to be doing something useful again — only so many nights I can spend dragging the boys out of 79’s before it gets boring, eh?”  
  
Anakin just blinked as Rex clapped him on the shoulder _how can he stand to even be near me he’d hate me if he knew, if he knew how close I’d come to being like that monster, kriff how can I ev-_  
  
“General?” Rex tilted his head and gave Anakin one of the looks he knew to mean ‘I’m realizing you’ve done something stupid but I haven’t figured out what it is yet’, usually it was directed at Fives or Hardcase.  
  
“How about we talk about the mission in your office? I didn’t get any more details than that it wasn’t supposed to be more than a few weeks,” Rex didn’t give his General much of a choice on the matter as he steered him down the hall by the hand still gripping his shoulder, not that Anakin was of any mind to fight him.  
  
 _Might as well appreciate it before he realizes how badly I failed him..._ _  
_  
—  
  
“If you’ll excuse the insubordination, sir,” The Clone Captain caught his General’s gaze and held it after putting down the last datapad of information on their upcoming mission, “Is there a reason you keep looking at me like I’m about to shoot you?”  
  
His General looked like an eopie caught in headlights for a moment before breaking the eye contact and looking down at the desk with a frown. _What aren’t you telling me, Anakin? What happened during leave that I don’t know about?_  
  
“What do you know about why our leave was extended so long?” The Jedi’s voice was quiet, and tense like Rex had only very rarely heard it. The captain shook off the uncanniness of the question compared to his own internal monologue— only shinies believed that Jedi could actually read minds like that.  
  
“Officially, we were just told that leave had been extended for a ten-day,” Rex tried, but failed, to catch his Jedi’s gaze again, “Unofficially, I asked around and heard that you’d been confined to the Temple for a while due to ‘Jedi matters’, whatever the kriff _that_ means.”  
  
The General sighed and began fiddling with the buckles of the glove he wore over his prosthetic — a nervous tick Rex had only seen him exhibit when talking with General Kenobi or the Commander.  
  
“It _means_ , in this case, that I was suffering from a rather severe case of Force exhaustion. When a force user over exerts themselves using their abilities, it can take a physical toll on their bodies — you’ve seen it happen to me a few times — but usually it only takes a good meal and a decent night’s rest to cure,” The Jedi’s fiddling became more forcefully as he tugged and adjusted the row of leather straps on his arm. Rex’s mind was racing with the possibilities of what could have downed his General for a _ten-day_ if the near impossible things he’d seen him do in the past had barely downed him for a few hours.  
  
“The first night of leave I...” The General stopped his fiddling all together and clenched his fist, “Things _happened_ that led to Obi-Wan convincing me to see one of the mind healers at the Temple. He feared I’d been being influenced by something or someone with the power of the Sith.”  
  
Rex felt his eyes widen in shock, couldn’t help his expression of disbelief-horror-anger when his General’s gaze locked into his for just long enough to bite out his next statement.  
  
“ _And he was right._ ”  
  
And even though he lost his gaze again, it seemed there’d be no stopping the Jedi now that he’d finally admitted his truth, and all Rex could do was listen and watch as his General’s expression twisted into one of shame and disgust. _No_ , he thought desperately, _not my General, not Anakin. Not this._ _  
_  
“It took a whole team of mind healers to help me destroy what was apparently several years worth of Dark _compulsions_ and _‘mind-tricks’_ ,” he scoffed, “Nothing as obvious or powerful as control, no, just enough to _push me_ closer and closer to drawing on the Dark side for myself. In the words of Healer Che, ‘just a few bad decisions away from falling entirely’.  
  
“I never even noticed, Rex. I should have been able to tell there was something _wrong_ with me. I should have _known!_ ” Anakin stood up abruptly, crossing his arms over his stomach as he faced the wall away from the Captain, speaking in barely more than a whisper, “I’m no better than Krell, getting drawn into the Dark so easily.”  
  
It was Rex’s turn to rage now, though.  
  
“ _Sir!_ ” His curt shout had the intended effect of making the General whirl around to look at him, _And that kicked akk expression just won’t do_ , Rex thought as he did, “Krell was a _sadistic shabuir_ who thought it funny to make vode kill each other, and you are nothing like him.”  
  
Anakin opened his mouth to retort but Rex stopped him short, “And I’ve seen you at your _darkest, sir_ . I don’t care what the jettise said to you, you’ve never come _close_ to hurting me or my brother’s like that. Sure, you’ve gotten _angry_ , done osik more out of _revenge_ than some _jetti ideal_ of justice. You’re a _person_ , it happens. You’ve _never_ taken it out on me or my brothers, never gone out of your way to hurt someone who _didn’t deserve it._ ”  
  
Rex stepped around the desk until he was less than a foot away from his General, who was looking at him slack-jawed, _please let this be the right thing please let him not demote me for this please let this mean as much as I think it does..._  
  
“I _trust_ you, sir. So do the rest of the vode. So don’t throw that away over something you _just told me you’ve already overcome_ .” This time, Rex didn’t let him look away until he was sure his message had been understood.  
  
“Thank you, Rex.” The General gave a soft smile, “I think I needed to hear that.”  
  
 _Oh thank the little gods,_ Rex let out a mental sigh, _that worked_ . On the outside though, he smirked, “Anytime you need your head screwed on straight, General, you know where to find me.”  
  
His General laughed, and the galaxy righted on its axis again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title translates from Mando’a as “My Jedi, The Fool” 
> 
> Other Mando’a:  
> shabuir — bastard  
> vode — brothers, specifically the Clones  
> jettise — plural of Jedi  
> jetti — singular Jedi  
> osik — shit 
> 
> If I missed one, let me know!


	9. Clone, Interrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter draws a lot on the episode ‘Orders’ from TCW, including parts of Fives’ dialogue so if you recognize it - that’s why! I couldn’t resist rewriting these events with an Anakin who already is somewhat in the know and playing with how they could have played out! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The ray shield thrummed up around Anakin and Rex, trapping them. It took not a small amount of the Jedi’s self control to not to bang his fists against it and yell, but he knew that lashing out now would only make the situation worse — whatever was going on with his ARC trooper wouldn’t be helped by useless bouts of temper. 

Ever since Tup had turned on Master Tiplar, Anakin had been feeling like something very big was about to happen — the same feeling he got just before a bomb went off on the battlefield. Something wasn’t right and after what he’d discovered about himself and Palpatine —  _ who somehow had landed himself in the middle of this too _ , Anakin thought bitterly,  _ funny how that keeps happening _ — he wasn’t willing to dismiss Fives behavior as simply an effect of him removing an inhibitor chip.    
  
“I just need you to listen to me,  _ please _ ,” Fives stepped out from behind the crates, looking so out of place with his stolen armor and shaved head.  _ What happened to you?  _ Anakin wanted to scream,  _ What’s going on? _   
  
“We are listening, Fives,  _ I’m _ listening.” Anakin stepped closer to the edge of the shield, trying to get a better look at his ARC.    
  
“I was framed because I know the truth the truth about a plot,” Fives was waving his hands as he spoke, like he couldn’t quite put his thoughts into words and was resorting to gestures, “A massive deception!”    
  
Anakin risked a glance back to his Captain who was watching with a stony mask,  _ if this is what I think it is I’m going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.  _ _   
_   
“By whom?”  _ Please don’t say the Chancellor please don’t say the Chancellor please don’t say the Chancellor...  _ _   
_   
“Well, there's a sinister plot in the works against the Jedi,”  _ Force, that’s worse _ , Anakin watched with wide eyes as Fives worked himself up into a shout, “I have proof of it. I can prove that everything that I know is true beyond a  _ shadow _ of a doubt!”    
  
“I believe you,” Anakin ignored the way Rex’s head snapped to look at him.    
  
“You- you do?” The desperate look Fives was giving him made Anakin want to cringe, “You’re not- you’re not just  _ saying _ that? How do I know this isn’t a  _ trap?! _ The Chancellor tried to kill me!”    
  
_ Kriff _ , Anakin clenched his jaw,  _ in for a credit, right? _   
  
“I  _ really believe you _ , Fives. A few weeks ago a small group of us discovered evidence that the Chancellor was working with the Sith, the Separatists,” Anakin clamped down on his mental shields as he felt Rex’s disbelief and confusion build beside him, “We’ve been trying to gather proof, we think that whatever his plot is it’s been going on for years. If you know what this plot is, Fives, we  _ need _ to get you back to the Temple — before the Chancellor’s guard finds you. Alright? The Jedi want to figure this out as much as you do.”    
  
Fives hesitated, and Anakin watched as he swayed dangerously on his feet — regardless of whether or not the ARC was right, there was definitely something else wrong.  _ He needs the Temple, NOW.  _ _   
_   
“The Coruscant Guard is scouring the city for you, and they’ll kill you if they find you. The Jedi will  _ protect _ you, Fives, but you have to let us take you to the Temple.” Anakin didn’t like the way his voice had wavered as he spoke, but he was desperate and desperately trying to talk down a paranoid man.  _ This is why I work better with Obi-Wan, he always knows how to talk to people, I’m better at blowing things up _ . “Please.”    
  
“Captain?” Fives looked to Rex who had remained silent behind the General, “You believe me?”    
  
“I do, vod,” Rex let out a quiet huff, “I- Well I don’t know kriff all about what’s going on, but I don’t think you’re crazy, and I trust the Jedi. I trust  _ the General _ . He won’t let anything else happen to you.”    
  
Fives hesitated another few seconds before tapping one of the controls on his stolen wrist comm — the shield powered off.    
  
“Get me out of here, sir.”    
  
—    
  
The good news was that the Jedi Council believed the testimony Fives’ had given them after he’d been deemed well enough by the Healers (and if Anakin had been vindicated to see the horror on Shaak Ti’s face after hearing his statements and listening to the Jedi healers testify that he had been drugged with enough phencyclidine to down a bantha, well, it was no one’s business but his own).    
  
The bad news was that this had had two major consequences: firstly, it had forced Anakin to come clean to council about his, Obi-Wan’s, Padmé’s, and Ahsoka’s ‘side project’ of spying on the Chancellor and collecting damning evidence against him which understandably had not pleased the Council in the slightest. Secondly, it meant that both the Chancellor and the Kaminoans wanted to get their hands on Fives and if the Jedi appeared to be harboring a criminal who had attempted to kill the Chancellor— things could go very sideways very fast.    
  
The first problem was a work in progress that currently had Anakin hiding out at Padmé’s while he waited for Council Master Windu to stop projecting waves of frustration at him through the Force whenever the younger Jedi was near.    
  
The second problem had had a relatively simple solution once they’d figured it out — kill Fives. Not, of course, in actuality, but faking a death and even a body was not something the Jedi Shadows couldn’t manage, especially that of a clone. Officially, according to both Temple records and the GAR paperwork filed by Rex himself as Five’s commanding officer, ARC-5555 had died of complications during a seizure caused by the removal of his bio-chip. Officially, there was no clone trooper still recuperating both brain surgery and drug overdose in Room 11-C at the Jedi Temple Halls of Healing while his Captain fretted about like a mother tooka.    
  
None of these things, good or bad, were made any better by the decoding of the programming on the bio-chips by one of the Jedi splicers assigned to the task.    
  
“Masters,” The splicer addressed the Council, “We need to get these chips out of the troops heads  _ now _ .”


	10. Irrational Thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! I’m not dead and nor is the story! 
> 
> Classes and other irl stuff whooped my ass this week and have been positively hellish on my writing time, BUT the week is nearly over and I’m back at it with two (2!) fresh chapters for y’all! I hope you enjoy!

Being fully aware of how quickly either of them, but especially Anakin, could be called away for important business at the moment had meant holding off on the drink the young Knight felt he really did deserve after the last two days. It chaffed and left him keyed up and frustrated as he tried to relax, but was necessary and reasonable and adult and all those other things Anakin really hated being. Something else which chaffed at him was the Council’s behavior towards him, but again, he was doing the  _adult_ thing and not throwing a tantrum about it like he wanted to. 

It hurt, in a deep and somewhat self pitying way, how clear it was that they had a very specific image of him in their minds and just how far from the truth that image could be. Beyond the doubt and criticism they’d always held for him since that first day when he’d been brought before them by Master Jinn, these days it seemed like they only tolerated his opinions and views the way an adult might tolerate the opinions of a toddler on what they were having for dinner. Insincere and appeasing but in no way actually giving any value to his thoughts. The amount of time the words “rash”, “childish”, “unorthodox”, and “reckless” had been thrown around the Council Chamber while they debated and discussed the newly revealed information about their suspicions of Palpatine and the Sith machinations of the Senate and Anakin both was enough to make even Obi-Wan loose some patience. 

The young Knight knew some of it was justified, and that even more of it had to do with the way he’d gleefully allowed the rumors of his _attachment_ to Padmé spread over the past few years — but it still burned when he realized exactly how much they still treated him as an undisciplined padawan incapable of assimilating to the Jedi way of life. For Force’s sake he’d trained his _own_ padawan to the point of Knighthood (regardless of whether or not Ahsoka had chosen to accept it, he  _had_ trained her and she  _had_ been judged worthy) but they still regarded him with condescension. Anakin Skywalker had not wanted to be knighted at the young age of nineteen for the sake of being a General in a war he was given little choice about fighting in, and had not wanted to train the padawan learner assigned to him when he was only five years older than she was and barely prepared to be an adult much less teach someone else how to — but he  _was_ and he  _did_ and he did it  _damn kriffing well._

Yet the Council had still looked him the face and made only partially veiled comments about the appropriateness of Senator Amidala’s involvement in their acting against the Chancellor and insisted that everything they’d done be double checked by the council itself.  _ Why couldn’t they just  trust m-  _

“You’re spiraling again, Ani.” 

“Mh?” he looked up from his place on the couch to see his friend standing above him holding out a cup of tea she’d made him, already sipping carefully at her own, “I guess I was. I know the healers said that even with the mind tricks undone it would take time to really get rid of some of the thought patterns they’d encouraged,” he sighed, taking the warm and sweet smelling tea from her hands, “Like thinking the entire Jedi Council is actively working against me when really they’re just trying to do their jobs, especially when part of their job is critically looking over my decsions.” 

Padmé gave a slight chuckle as he sighed again, frowning rather comically into his tea cup, “But while I know that most of them don’t actually just want to see me fail, I also know that a lot of them still doubt my skills or my dedication to the Order. Obi-Wan practically confirmed that most of the Council suspects you and I are actively in a relationship when you told him, and I  _am_ one of the youngest Knights in the Order...so it’s hard to parse out where their actual doubts end and my own paranoia begins.” 


	11. Always in Motion, The Future Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For clarity’s sake, please note that this picks up directly after the last chapter left off

For several quiet moments they both just sat on the senator’s couch, drinking their tea, and drawing comfort from the other’s presence. Padmé had not been nearly as shaken as Anakin had been when she heard what Fives had had to say about their chips, since she wasn’t really close with any of the vode like he was, but she  _had_ been shaken. Between that and helping Anakin and Obi-Wan tell the Council about what they’d been discovering about Palpatine, it had been a rough two days for the senator. Having Anakin with her to lean on, even if he was leaning on her just as much, helped. 

“If they suspect, why don’t they do anything?” Padmé wondered aloud, not doubting or questioning her friend, but the actions of the Council, “I remember when we talked it out in the first place you assumed that eventually you’d get blatantly accused or asked, but it’s been over two years now and... nothing.” 

Anakin raised an eyebrow at her, “If they ask or investigate and were to find eveidence of us actually being together, their hands would be tied — they would have no choice but to offer me the ultimatum of either severing all ties with you and facing punishment or being expelled from the Order,” he paused, “And even if they were naive enough to think that there was a chance I would just choose to roll over and submit once I was called out, they can’t afford to risk it. I’m too much of an asset in the war, and would be considered a loose canon if I was expelled.” 

“So they just _pretend_ to turn a blind eye to it? ” 

“ Yep,” he popped the ‘p’ as his face split into a sly smile, “Big emphasis on the ‘pretend’, too. You should see the faces they make when I mention you, I could have sworn Master Windu was going to break a tooth with how hard he was clenching his jaw during my explanation of our spying on Palpatine. I threw in a few “Padmé”s instead of “Senator Amidala”s and I think he developed a new tic.” 

Padmé couldn’t help but laugh, the image of the famously stoic Jedi Master twitching at mention of her name too hilarious for anything else. It was good, she noted as she calmed down, to see Anakin so fully pulled from his brooding and back to his usual enjoyment of their mischief. She knew it grated on her friend sometimes, the way the authorities of his life and creed often seemed so easily swayed by baseless assumption, but the lurking and dangerous resentment that had come settle in his gaze when he spoke of them over the past several months had been new and worrying. The young senator was elated each time she saw it vanish now, expunged by his knowledge of it’s falsehood. 

“What do you think will happen when it ends? If they’re only holding back because they need you for the war...” 

It was a sobering thought, and she nearly regretted voicing it when a frown reappeared on Anakin’s face. But the shadow that so often accompanied it didn’t come back, so she held back an apology. 

“It will take awhile for things to settle, for the Order to sort itself out again and the need for soldiers, not peacekeepers, to really go away even after the official fighting is done. Sometime in there...” he took a long, slow sip of his tea, “They’ll probably decide I’m no longer a vital asset and that’s when they’ll address it. It won’t be a formal inquiry or anything like that, I don’t think. They’ll just, push for me to slip up, make some comments about attachment and slack and the war being over, and when I don’t change anything they’ll push harder until it all comes out one way or another.” 

He looked at her then, brow drawn down in consideration with his lips pressed thin; an expression Padmé knew meant he was weighing the odds of being truthful about something against diverting a conversation towards less vunerable waters. It was a look she’d seen for the first time for just a few seconds before he’d told her about the nightmares he’d had about his mother, and many times since whenever he opened up about his past or his doubts about the Order or a mission gone wrong. It was an expression that never failed to remind her exactly how much tragedy her friend had seen, and how much he still carried with him. 

“What they’re not anticipating though, is that I plan to leave the Order once I’m no longer ‘vital’ anyways.” Anakin spoke his words deliberately, and with a softness that belied the steel of his conviction. 

“Oh.” Padmé reeled, and tried not to think about how little it actually surprised her.  _But being a Jedi Knight was everything you ever wanted,_ part of her wanted to shout, but the other, much louder and much more reasonable part of her disagreed.  _No, everything Anakin ever wanted was to be able to help people and make change in the galaxy, and the clearest way for him to do that used to be as a Jedi._

_It isn’t anymore._


	12. Suvar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not dead! And neither is the story! Yay! It’s been one fucking hell of a sixth months for me, y’all, and COVID doesn’t even make top three for stuff that’s happened even though I’m high risk. But I’m back at it, with a longer than usual chapie, and here’s to hoping the next one doesn’t take sixth months.

Rex was... well clones weren’t meant to get  _upset_.  But apparently they were also meant to kill their Jedi so he had more or less given up on the ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’ of being a clone in the GAR. 

So, Rex was upset. Devastated really, because how else was a being supposed to feel when he stood next to his General on a holocall that informed them and the High Generals with their Marshal Commanders that each and every one of his brothers could be forced to murder their  _jetti_ ? 

Rex and his General were only included in that call because they’d been at the heart of the discovery with Fives and Tup. Otherwise, as discussed in that horrible briefing that would be burned into Rex’s mind for the rest of his life, they would be in the dark with the rest of the Jedi and  _Vode_.  The executive decision had been made that until the chips were rendered inert (there were too many  _vode_ to remove them all, apparently) it would be kept quiet. 

Can’t let the  _ka’ra_ damned Sith Lord in charge of the Republic know they’re stealing his secret weapon now, can they? 

“...and then tomorrow they want us to go start in on the Guard, so what do you think?” 

Rex snapped himself to attention when he realized his Ge-  _Anakin, he keeps reminding you to call him Anakin even when you’re not entirely alone_ ,  Anakin had asked him a question. A question that had apparenly been asked a fair bit earlier in the conversation Rex had entirely lost track of. 

“I think it’s a good idea, sir.” 

“Aw come on, Rex, I’m asking you to spend dinner with me and Padmé, no need for this ‘sir’ nonsense. You know how I feel about being called that away from the troops.”  _Anakin_ nudged him in the arm as he spoke, eyes as bright as they could be after the news they’d gotten. 

_Di’kut di’kut di’kut, you just agreed to spend dinner with your_ General _and his secret_ cyar’ika.

“Of course,” Rex gave a smirk he didn’t entirely feel, “Sir.” 

His-  _Anakin_ groaned but the light in his eyes lightened just a little bit more, and that was enough for Rex. 

—

“So, Rex, when I insisted Ani invite you to dinner tonight, I will admit I had a slightly greater motive than just having a pleasant evening with friends after a particularly hard day.” The Senator flicked her eyes over to meet Anakin’s for a moment, and Rex had a second to wonder what she meant. Could they possibly have decided to finally start telling people they were together? Surely they knew that it was rather common knowledge by this point. The 501st’s General was many things, but a good liar wasn’t one of them. 

Absently, as the two shared a look, Rex was reminded of just how many of their troopers had bets riding on them being  _riduure_.  Maybe that’s what they wanted to tell him? He’d appreciate the gesture as unnecessary as it would be — and as awkward as it was sure to make the rest of this dinner, for him at least. Not that it wasn’t already awkward, Rex didn’t think he would ever really understand how natborns did things — the amount of utensils alone baffled him, why have a spoon if you’re not supposed to use it? Why two kinds of knives when one sharp one worked just a well? The Senator and Anakin never said anything about it, but Rex was pretty sure they were humoring his various social fumbles that were surely taking place. 

But never let it be said that The Senator did the things that were expected of her. 

“I wanted to apologize to you,” She looked him in the eye just as her expression flickered into a thoughtful and discomfited furrowing of her brow and persing of her brightly painted lips. Rex had always wondered how she managed to get them to stay the bright colors she wore even after eating or going through a battle, it was one of things most of his brothers noticed too, the way the bright colors and shimmers she seemed to wear as religiously as they did armor never faded or smudged. At first, many of them had assumed she wasn’t entirely human and it a quirk of natural coloring until they’d seen her again and the colors had changed. He wondered if the colors ever transferred to Anakin when they kissed...  _pay attention, di’kut! She’s saying something important! And stop drinking the wine, you shouldn’t be getting drunk in The Senator’s apartments of all places, General’s cyar'ika or not_. 

“It was at my insistence that Anakin did not inform you as to what was going on in regards to our investigation into the Chancellor,”  _Wait, what?_ “I hadn’t wanted to expand the circle of people who knew what we were up to beyond the absolutely necessary, I fear I let my paranoia get the better of me. Even bringing Ahsoka into the fold was ... more than I had anticipated. When Anakin and Obi-Wan brought up telling you, Cody, and some of the other  Vode from their battalions,” Her gaze slid down towards her plate as she paused, and Rex was still too busy attempting to mentally catch up with the direction of her confession to say anything, before she continued, “Well, I shot them down rather soundly. You must understand, at the time we’d had no inkling of any connection to you and your brothers — otherwise I like to think I would have made a different decision on the matter. 

“Regardless, I wanted to apologize, and to make sure you knew that not telling you about our investigation was in no way a reflection of our, or Anakin’s, trust in you. Anakin puts a great deal of faith in you Rex, and I do hope that my decision in keeping you in the dark about this hasn’t made you think otherwise.” The tension that had worked it’s way through the Senator seemed to ease slightly as she spoke, and Rex’s battle honed senses picked up on it even as he attempted to rapidly process the variety of thing’s she’d just said and implied. 

_ Why worry so much about me? Does the General really hold me, a clone, in such esteem that his cyar’ika felt she should  apologize  _ _of all things? Over a tactical decision?_ The questions raced through his mind, wondering about how they’d gotten here, what it meant, why it mattered. But the Captain had also picked up on something else as Senator Amidala spoke. 

“I appriciate the consideration, Senator,”  _Manners first, Rex,_ “But it’s really not necessary. You made a strategic decision about key intelligence, if I didn’t need to know, I didn’t know. I do have a question though, if it’s alright now that your investigation is over?”

“Of course, Rex, what is it?” 

He considered his words carefully, he already had a very unpleasant hunch about what the answer was going to be, and if he was right, Rex wasn’t entirely sure that it would be a forthcoming one. 

“You said that if you’d known the  _Vode_ were a part of this, you would have reconsidered informing some of us — but if you didn’t even know we were involved, what exactly were you investigating?” 

Rex’s suspicions, which started not long after their confrontation with Fives and had only grown since, especially after the ‘our Chancellor is not only a powerful force user but a very, very evil one’ part of this morning’s briefing, were practically confirmed by the look on Anakin’s face when The Senator deferred to him with a look. It made the GAR Captain itch for his DC-17s, and the simplicity of battlefield justice. 

“Well, Rex,” Anakin began, “It started with a rumor...” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mando’a Translations: 
> 
> Suvar — understanding, a state of agreement between two or more people 
> 
> di’kut — stupid, idiot, Lit. means someone who forgets their pants 
> 
> cyar’ika — sweetheart, lover
> 
> riduure — this one isn’t an actual offical word, because mando’a doesn’t have a word for ‘married’ god knows why. So this essentially means ‘spouses’ in the same way you might say ‘boyfriends’. I’m not an expert by a long shot, so if someone knows a better word or better plural for riduur, lemme know
> 
> And if I forgot something, lemme know that too!


End file.
